Mushrooms made the soil
As someone who studies mushrooms in school I can't even make sense of what he means. Fungi are there own Kingdom and animalia diverged from them some 1.5 billion years ago so we are more closely related to them than plantae. Fungi consume oxygen and release co2, produce vitiman D when in sunlight, and digest enzymatically just like us. They are living in the o horizon of soils (unless they are mychorrizal and on plant roots) digesting lignin to release soil nutrients so they are once again available for plant uptake. Fruiting occurs under specific environmental conditions and has nothing to do with dirt being "dirty" it's just when the fungi says "oh shit if I make a mushroom now it won't dry or fry before my spores are mature"
Not to mention that probably a majority of sprophitic (decomposing) mushrooms don't even grow out of the soil, just in the side of logs and dead trees, when they do grow in the soil they are either decomposing wood you can't see, or in a symbiotic relationship with a nearby plant (mychorrizal)
I'm not going to take food advice from Voldemort
Ikr? The guy can't even taste food as he has no nose..
Wait til this guy learns how cheese is made.
Ohhh was going to microdose today. Thanks for the reminder Reddit! I have no idea what this dude is talking about though.
And they are delicious
Not the ones that make your brain go brrrrr
Dirt already is alive, dumbass. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume he's never left the city.
Man needs to take soils 101
K but have you ever tried penis envy mushrooms? Best dick around.
Penis envys are awesome!!!! Amazing trip
This is a perfect idiom that encapsulates how people get dooped into embracing a totally ridiculous opinion by pretending to understand what the author means.
Say what you will, but they taste great on a pizza accompanied by jalapenos and chicken...
The magic ones don't taste as good, but boy do they leave you happy.
it is even worse than that, it's not only alive, it's penis almost all of it
I’m just trying to be a fun guy.
Aren’t we all made of the earth and its minerals.
We certainly are
All living things on earth are created from dirt coming alive.
All life is is a cool trick that dirt can do.
Eat the dirt before the dirt eats you
Shrooms really are weird alien food. Neither plant nor animal.
Anything that can grow out of cum socks isn’t something I want to put in my mouth
It's even weirder when you consider that mushrooms' DNA is closer to animal DNA than plant DNA.
They're actually an excellent source of protein, if you're vegetarian or vegan. I grow my own mushrooms at home to toss into all the vegetarian food I cook, and damn are some of them delicious. Ever had blue oyster mushrooms? They taste just like butter. So yummy. I've got a big batch of King Trumpets fruiting right now, can't wait to eat those scrumptious little bastards in a couple more days.
Dirt is just compounds that have broken down into minerals...
The more broken down the soil, the more nutrient rich it becomes. But mushroom spores would have to br introduced in the same way a tomato seed is introduced or a pathogen or healthy bacteria for that matter.
Yeah but they take you to a whole different world when you eat them. They’re like little alien penis tree buddies who want you to relax.
They *taste* like sponges made of mud to me, but how they're made isn't a big deal.
They make me see colors and I’m keeping them.
But magic mushroom makes brain go brrrrr
I like dirt abominations
Mushrooms are delicious and are the glue that holds the planet together! Leave mushrooms alone!
but.. but they taste so good
My aunt actually no humor thinks like this. She straight up snapped at me when I was a child for asking what kind of vitamins are in mushrooms.
"NONE! THEY HAVE NO VALUE WHATSOEVER. JUST GROSS NOTHING-FUNGUS"
Didn't stop me though. them mushrooms are my favorite, auntie. Little did you know you were both wrong and talking to a kid who would've kept eating them even if you told me they were actively killing me lol
I bet this dude is a very shallow thinker lol
why you foto downvoted wtf
It’s worse than he thinks. They grow them in shit.
That's that messed up Japanese; Take-Shit-A.
This guy voted
Wow, such a funguy.
Mushrooms are when the earth talks directly to you.
Gotta show that dirt whose boss
It’s all a bit weird when you think about it.
Take eggs for example, have a good think about that.
I mean vegetables come from decomposing things and manure...
Yeah cuz then I eat them and everything comes alive
Yeah cuz then i consume those folk and everything cometh alive
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
The soil is more alive than those guy will ever understand. Wait til he finds out all the places bacteria grow...
Cast this Twonk to the wind, or give him a hero's dose, and after ask him of he still feels the same lol
Thats not how this works. Thats not how any of this works
Mushrooms are what happens when dirt gets ao dirty that the dirt comes alive and people willingly eat these abominations
*munches on tasty dirty dirt*
Mushrooms are the people of the dirt
**the people of the dirt, mushrooms are.**
^(Commands: 'opt out', 'delete')
mushrooms are already dead
Technically everything is dirt.
I’d eat that over a carcass any day lol
Man, i just wrote an essay on why fungi are so great. The hell bro
Well cheese is literally expired milk, and wine is expired grape juice and honey is basically bee puke
Imagine his face when he learns water used to be pee
That's some Aristotle logic here. Spontaneous generation.
Sounds like the Kardashians.
This man knows nothing about shrooms. My growth boxes are sterile as a hospital
Only the ones that make me see pretty colors
Fuck yeah we do
Even if this were true, I wouldn't care, because mushrooms taste delicious and I'm luckily not a "texture eater"
With a title like that it could have been a text post...
This person doesn't know what mushrooms are
Post: Deeply inaccurate statement about fungi.
Post title: *Actual* brand new sentence.
This is my mew motto!
Man makes a joke and all the mushroom nerds dig their way out of their mycelium to tell him he's wrong.
you are free to refrain from eating mushrooms, just know that they will not return the favor
Honestly, I stopped being shocked at people’s diets when eating ass became a thing.
Literal ASS. Butt. Anus. Prune chute. As in, the poop hole. Like... I can’t even. I’m can’t even-ing so hard I’m turning into a white girl.
this is a good example of cognitive dissonance.
Don't tell him the mushrooms are the reproductive organs of the fungi
Mushrooms are delicious
Ummm what? Mushrooms are dope, they also might be are very distant grandparents.
drag their ass
This guy trips.
THANK YOU! someone finally gets it!
For sentences never before written, found in the wild.