Posted by u/kamicham 14 hours ago

Decided to tell my Mum why I don't talk to her... ended up crying yesterday


My Mum calls me everyday and sits on the phone for over an hour just talking about shit to with herself. I wouldn't mind the odd call a week or every other week but she calls me literally every single day. I have issues with saying no and I now have trouble telling her that I need to end the call because she acts like I'm going because I don't like her (which isn't entirely wrong but I don't need the stress of being guilt tripped).

I went back home for a couple of days last weekend to see her and my best friend as it was my best friends birthday. I hate being at my Mums house because it brings up bad memories of when I lived there and she treated me like crap. She used to scream at me all the time over the smallest things, belittle me and call me names. ([this](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/is8spp/youre_just_jealous_of_me_because_im_prettier_than/) is a prime example). I decided to go and stay at my best friends house instead where I had a great time and felt so comfortable and happy and I decided I wasn't going to feel bad about putting myself first for once. Over the next couple of days after I returned home she tried to call me every day but this time I ignored her as I was going through some personal stuff and didn't have the patience to deal with all of hers too.

At first my Mum didn't say anything to me, I knew she would be upset about it but as I said, I needed to put myself first. I got a message from my brother telling me that she had been on the phone to multiple of her friends telling them about how I came down and barely spoke to her and pissed off to my friends house and how horrible I am bla bla bla. My Mum found out that he told me cause I asked my other brother about it and she went nuts at him calling him a shit stirrer who only did it to cause drama. I called her and explained that I wasn't answering the phone and didn't stay at hers cause I don't like being around her and all she does is talk about herself. She had an excuse for everything and yesterday she called me again and told me that she only did that cause she's depressed and I'm the only person she can talk to. She made me feel really bad for not picking up the phone to her and told me its not her fault that when we're on the phone I don't talk much. I told her that I don't want to tell her my personal problems. I am actually so sick of this shit honestly.

\*\*UPDATE EDIT\*\*

So I wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented and showed their support, it has really meant a lot! I sent my Mum a message telling her that until she gets herself referred for therapy then I will not be speaking to her on the phone. I have told her multiple times in the past to go and see a doctor but she has always had an excuse but I think it is about time I put my foot down. I also told her that when she does go to therapy she needs to speak to the therapist about why she thinks we as her children owe her for being our parent. Hopefully the therapist can help her sort her head out. Also I got married a couple of years ago and I now have the most amazing mother in law, I think the fact that she treats me with respect and actually "mothers" me has put a lot about my Mum into perspective
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