In a world where everything is a crab, if you're mentally ill and seriously stressed, you get magic powers by becoming bff's with your very own baby emotional support fairy. You get magic and therapy, and they get to figure out how to human. The main characters are: A clinically depressed grunge boy with PTSD who also happens to be a slave, an abused girl with some kind of dissociative panic disorder who just wants senpai to notice her, a middle-aged recovered alcoholic who is seeing apocalyptic visions of the past but only when it rains, and the vision man's son, the world's bestest himbo and only mentally stable one in the whole dang book. Also there's a war on, and an impending mystery apocalypse. Also racism, heavy moral questions about the nature of violence, leadership, justice, and slavery, as well as a professional serial killer with religious issues. But then again there's also a pacifist polynesian Russian giant who just wants to cook stew and give his friends haircuts, so it balances out. Also magic anime swords and a guy whose job it is to insult everyone and almost made me read the word "ass" out lour in front of my toddler.
This is absolutely amazing, and I immediately read it to my wife who I keep pestering about jumping into the Cosmere.
I did the same thing. She might be on board now
>who just wants senpai to notice her
who does this refer to again, it’s been a while since i’ve read the series
For so long I said an elevator pitch was impossible.
Thank you for proving me wrong
It took me something like 4 drafts and 3 apologies to get it condensed enough to fit in an MMS. 😅
I love it! I completely lost it at the first line lol
Yup! I got to "crab" and immediately knew this would be the best summary ever
I think I kinda love it.
Your description of Adolin is my favorite. World's Bestest Himbo.
Ngl the voice in my head when reading this was from Honest Trailers lol.
u/mistbom, we need to change the back cover summary for WOK
u/mistborn, even :)
This should be stickied.
I am a stick.
Staring at rhythm of war right now but I’m smack dab in the middle of the first mistborn trilogy. I shall wait. Got me excited for reading it with this A+ synopsis though. Not that I wasn’t excited already.
FYI, that synopsis is for Way of Kings. Still over a million words away from Rhythm of War
Finished WoK, now on Warbreaker. Next will be WoR.
Just finished Warbreaker, and I definitely think the order you’re reading is the right way! After finishing it, I decided I’m gonna go back through SA and do Warbreaker again at the appropriate time
RUSSIAN? I always imagined Rock as Scottish. Probably a personal problem on my account though...
The syntax of his speech always said "Russian" to me. I may have to stick with it because while my Russian accent is passable, my Scottish is.... Yikes.
Damn- you really did it! Haha I love it
This should replace the blurb on the back of the book
If it's a spoiler don't answer, but Lopen seems to be the flaw in your description. He doesn't seem to have anything wrong with him, unless it's delusions of grandeur
Dawnshard deals with the Lopen.
"The worlds bestest himbo and only mentally stable one in the whole dang book"
As exemplified by how he personifies everything around him, from his horse to his anime sword.
Hilarious if a bit spoiler
These words are soooooo accepted
You had me at crab.
**me at crab, you had.**
^(Commands: 'opt out', 'delete')
I’m sending this to my sister to see if she will read it now too! Thanks!
We should start a "convinced my sister to read it, sit back and watch the chaos" club. I think I got the one, and I still have another I can convince. I know both of them are going to tell at me when they get to certain chapters. I plan on taking screenshots. 😆
THIS CREM IS ACCEPTED
Emotional support fairy... I nearly died.
Amazing. That's all I can say.
This is glorious. I have saved it and sent it to my friends who were on the fence about SA.
This is the best possible summary I could have imagined
Tbh this is kinda spoiler filled. We don't know that it's those with cracks in their mental health that bond spren until a while into the series. Same with the Alcoholism and a couple other things.
True. I wouldn't send this to someone who really wanted to experience it blind, but knowing my sister, I explained it in a way that would orient her enough that she wouldn't get mad at it. I also later spoiled that Renarin is autistic because she also is autistic and is constantly on the lookout for "more baes for her collection."
But yeah, that's why I tagged it as spoilers, since I wrote it to someone who prefers a bit of explanation up front.
I read the whole thing in the honest trailers guy's voice. Fantastic!
I... I can't disagree with any of this.
Idk why but I totally read rock in a russian accent as well
This is so close to an Honest Trailer script format I read it with Epic Voice Guy’s voiceZ
Got a ton of spoilers for a recommendation... and honestly I would never have read it if that was how it was presented to me, lol.
I know my sister's style, this is just kind of how we talk to each other. :P. Also, yeah it's got some spoilers, but it stresses her out when things are left vague. (She's autistic and it's one of her things; she also doesn't find "spoilers" to be a problem. She's very much journey before destination that way.)
Hey this is excellent! I want to send it to a friend who asked me the same sort of question.
I love this so much.
This may be the best summation of SA that I've ever heard.
I’m going to save this for next time someone asks about the books lmao. Thank you for this gift to humanity.
Aren't you worried you spoild about half the book for her?
She hates when things are vague, and gets stressed over important plot points being secret for too long. (It's her particular brand of autism, she gets anxious over unknowns, so I anticipated the things I knew would bug her and gave warning.)
This is genius. Only because you didn’t miss on a single point
I feel like I undersold the absolutely horrifying level of Nope that is the Rosharan ecosystem, but it would take several text messages to get my feelings on the matter across in a way that doesn't underrepresent how truly abominable it is. Not that I have thalassophobia or anything....
I forgot Brandon is on reddit and now I'm kind of sweating
like I have a 2 year plan to get into his Creative Writing class and now he might see this and all the other Stormlight hoopla I've been up to and I just 😅🙃😳
F’ing brilliant. Wow.
Love this! Sent it to my girlfriend, I'll report back if it convinced her to read WoK.
Literally lol-ed. Well done.
Lol “they get to figure out ‘how to human’”
The opening crab line at the top had me laughing so hard I teared up.
OMG! This is the bestest book summary I've ever read.
"Pacifist polynesian russian giant" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Adolin being referred to as a the best Himbo is my most favorite thing ever.
I read the first 8 words in Epic Voice Guy's voice.
Accurate. Short and sweet 😂
who are you who are so wise
Pure gold. I actually CACKLED at "but only when it rains"
I read this in the honest trailer guy’s voice. Lol 😂
I love these posts.
Wow, this is way better than my synopsis where I talk vaguely about the power system and worldbuilding and great characters before hitting them with a classic "trust me, it's good. Just read it, please?"
Anyone who hasn't read the book would think that last sentence is an exaggeration, but I love that it isn't. Insulting people is quite literally what he was hired for.
This about sums it up
If you listen to the audiobook, Rock reads more like a Native American. Not sure where the Russian Polynesian thing comes from
I always thought of him as more polynesian?
I'm not sure a better description of SA exists in this world. Excellent. It's tongue in cheek but also explains the important parts really well.
In a world where everything is crab sent me
World's greatest jumbo broke me
This ... I mean... It's a perfect description really.
Surprised the Jasnah-ites haven’t objected to not classing her as a main character...
I mean Adolin may seem mentally stable but he definitely has some daddy issues and some skeletons in the closet. Everything else is spot in through! Well done.
Can I use this the next time someone asks me to describe the Stormlight Archive?
Sure! Tho as some folks have pointed out, there's technically a lot of spoilers. I geared this specifically to my sister, who doesn't mind spoilers and who actually prefers important information up front because she gets super anxious and obsessively stressed otherwise.
Some spoilers in there, but very accurate.
until he kills that other guy
Idk that would turn me off. Epic accomplishments would inspire me more.
A story where a slave saves himself, his friends, and his nation.
A story where a warlord becomes a peacemaker.
A story where the grandfather you trust has sold his soul to the devil...
A world hardened by climactic and human violence; Where fairies offer hope to the broken and gods are absent.
This is worth of r/cremposting xd.
No mention of Nightblood? 2/10
>!Nightblood isn’t in WoK and is unimportant until the latter half of the published books though.!<
A community to discuss the fantasy series The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson, along with other Cosmere-related works.