Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you should.
Life...uhh... finds a way.
I made a mental promise to myself that I'll never get kids unless I actually get a stable job and a nice home. No fucking way I'm making my child's life miserable just because people are pressuring me to have one early. Starting a family ain't a race, why do people gotta pretend it is? Don't be fuckin selfish. Think of your child's future
**Edit:** *Since people keep asking, yes I am a guy. This may seem a terrible plan if you're female (biologically at least), but as a dude, we can still make babies till we reach our 40s, maybe more. It might be different for women so I apologize. But if by some chance my balls ran out of juice and fatherhood really wasn't for me? Then yeah, I wouldn't mind honestly. Adoption is a thing, and so is in vitro fertilization (had an aunt who did this). Really, I'd pretty much prefer to have kids because I want to, not because of peer pressure. Being prepared and stable is a big bonus too. This was a philosophy an older cousin of mine shared, and it made me realize how hard it is raising a kid unprepared. So yeah, once again this is just my point of view, you can disagree with me if you want. But my advice? Live life to your fullest before settling down. You don't wanna find yourself yelling at your kids and blaming them for all the time you lost during your youth. Please don't do that.*
I wish this thought process was more common.
My birth control was taking care of a 2 month old for a week by myself from 8am-6pm.... when I was 18. It was an emergency but that week was an eye opener for me!!! No children for me till I want some!!! Am currently 30 and still don't want some!!
Yeah my older sister had a kid when I was 18 & then she had to move back home. My younger brother & I got to see the unfiltered reality of having a child and it honestly (to me) looked like hell. That is the biggest reason that I’m no longer interested in ever having kids and the way that my brother talks about his experience living with a baby-then toddler-then child in the same house as him, well I wouldn’t be surprised if he never has kids either!
I had a coworker(f) try to convince me that 16 was the optimal age to have kids b/c you "wouldn't be too tired to play with them."
Yeah, you would if you were working a job in addition to school and getting no sleep because CHILDREN ARE WORK.
I love kids, but I'll never have one until I can say for sure that I can devote the time and love they need to grow up healthy in body and mind.
so she thinks kids don’t need clothes, food, friends, education...
Or somehow these are provided in “magic”
4/5 very real reminder that past generations forced more mouths to feed before they could feed themselves.
They also had no birth control. I doubt my great grandma wanted 8 kids.... she just had no means of control ( biologically OR culturally).
I(27f) have seen enough people my age and younger who have 3-5 kids and don't know how to parent said children. These kids are often less than a year apart, allowed to do whatever they want, and/or have health issues their parents are in denial (or don't care) about.
I feel sorry these kids but how they act makes me glad that I'm childfree.
Moving to the southern US and trying to date in my 20s, the amount of early 20s single moms with multiple kids is just depressing to see.
I read that 1 child costs about 200K before college. Seeing as I have a few hundred in my account AND I'm behind on bills, I literally can't afford one kid.
My day care is $25K/ year. $200K sounds like a dream.
Well, first of all, I’m gay...
Pfft.. I’m 39 with no kids!! (That I know of)
38 and childfree here! It's fucking fantastic.
I had to delete fb because it’s all just peoples kids and other moms and dads sniffing each other’s farts
And every post is bitching about how hard it and exhausting it is like uuuuuuh yeah? You didn't know that going in?
It was about the twentieth inexplicably crying child having the Single. Worst. Day. of their young life while working my retail job that made me rethink ever wanting kids. How my parents didn’t strangle my ass when I was that age should be taught in schools.
If I do have kids, they wont know what the inside of a store is until they’re walking in picking out their first cellphone at fourteen. Using money from the swear bucket I will have to keep.
All these parents complaining about how hard their life is. Bro, you didn't rubber up. Don't come crying to tell me I'm irresponsible, because I wasn't the one who fucked up.
> All these parents complaining about how hard their life is.
And with their very next breath, they'll excitedly ask you when *you're* going to have kids, then proceed to relentlessly pressure you toward that end.
And I'm just sitting here, like, "dude, I'm single. I can't just order one on my phone and have a stork deliver it to my door."
Yes the fuck it will. No fucking thank you.
I didn't want kids, so I didn't have them. They aren't something that just *happens* to you. 😏
You gotta have sex to have kids right?
Yeah that’s probably how...
Yeah, its pretty simple to not have kids if every person you meet looks away from you.
My offspring will likely have an even worse version of my chronic genetic conditions, including cancer, and I have a 10% higher chance of dying during labor.
No thank you.
that's why i got snipped at 23 lmao
If only it was that easy as a woman at that age :/
I'm in my mid-30s and I'm never having kids. When my wife and I were dating, we both shared a mutual dislike of children, but figured it'd maybe change once we'd been together for a while. That change never took place, so we've concluded that it's just gonna be the two of us from here on out. Well, the two of us, plus our menagerie of animal friends.
I'm 29 with no kids.
Me too. My husband and I choose to be child free and nothing beats the freedom tbh.
Literally me. Im 27 and I have none and will never have children. They're whatever, but they can ruin lives and relationships. Just not for me.
I got too many problems to add kids to the list. If me and my wife fuck up, it's just us dealing with it, and we have a hard enough time with that
Besides, I feel like I got to 13 and just stopped maturing. I look at myself and go who in the hell would trust me with a child?
>Besides, I feel like I got to 13 and just stopped maturing.
My 27th birthday is this year. I'm still waiting for this adult thing to feel natural.
I'm friends on fb with some girls I knew back in middle school. We're all in our mid twenties now.
Most of them have kids, and fewer have a husband or partner. The constant rants about raising kids as a single mom, or raising kids in general, are annoying as fuck.
If you weren't ready to handle the responsibility, maybe you shouldn't have had all those kids.
Friend from work is 42 and still complains about how consuming and exhausting it is. I don't think that ever gets easier. At least when they're little.
I had a scare at 29. Realized I didn't want to have kids until I felt like I was actually good for the kid. Parents aren't entitled to plaything grandkids. They can get a fucking hobby. I want to be a good Dad.
people under 30 having babies is practically teen pregnancy
I got married at 21 because I was stupid, and divorced at 24. I straight made a conscious decision not to have kids until I was 30, and put in effort to make sure it happened.
Teaching is a prophylactic.
Having kids isn’t a race. Plus, some people just don’t want kids.
r/childfree for life
I think when people post things like this they most likely regret having kids. You know the saying misery loves company. I think that applies here.
I always wondered why have kids in the first place. I think I might just be missing some evolutionary drive, but it seems funky how much people seem to want them when I just cannot relate.
Feels like being surrounded by a large cult, or being in a movie like the body snatchers. Everybody blindly reproducing as if it's no biggy.
I have four brothers and they all have children...there's like 9-10 kids between them. No thanks, no kids for me. Not only that, but just because you're able to reproduce doesn't mean you should. One of my older brothers has six kids by FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN. His oldest is damn near out of high school and his youngest isn't even a year old. Mother fucker needs a vasectomy.
Honestly, its such a weird cultural divide where in new york it seems people don't really have kids until their mid to late 30s, and then in many suburban and rural areas people start popping out kids right out of high school.
Vasectomy at 29 was the best $50 I spent.
That's why I'm 35 without kids. Kind of amazing.
Well, seeing what's up with everyone I know, here is my takeaway:
1. The pullout method does not work. Period. 4 couples, 4 sets of kids.
2. Condom/birth control does not have a 100% success rate. Know 1 couple that the pill failed them. Sucks, but it happens.
3. If you can commit to it, getting your tubes tied or meat tube snipped is awesome. Other friend loves having had a hysterectomy, she had not a fun time with PMS, cramps and tons of discharge.
4. Religion and anything with sex is a 0 sun game. Every single deeply religion friend is not happy with sex, or their love life. None.
>>0 sun game
As our planet Earth gets worse, people still breed and both aren't even fun.
I’m 17, and can confirm that if I where a dad, I don’t think I would be incredibly happy with my life
Especially since I am not mature enough to raise a kid
Real easy when you’re infertile.
Why do people act like having kids is some sort of achievement? Maybe in the old days when it helped to have your own little slave labor force to work the farm. But now? Now it just means someone's pullout game is weak. Now it's more of an achievement *not* to have any.
The people who said they loved me did not love me. Still looking for the one to have kids with... pepehands
She acts like she ain’t heard of birth control smh.
45, no kids. Best financial decision of my life. Really, it was the best decision in general.
Dawg I can’t even afford to keep myself alive let alone a mini me
I went through chemotherapy and now I’m sterile. So thats one way to do it.
The world is grossly overpopulated so not having kids is a wonderful thing to do for this Planet
I’m 27, but I feel too immature. So I’ll wait.
41 with no kids, single, decided to stop chasing. Best decision ever. I'm doing fine.
38m, no kids. Don't want them, don't like them.
Partner feels the same.
Toughest thing we have to do most weekends is decide is where to go for breakfast or where to go camping.
28f and every single time I see someone that LOOKS my age with multiple kids I I immediately think, "theres no way in HELL I could ever!!
I went to Walmart last night with my fiance for cake and chips. Saw a mom who had just gotten off of work with her 3 kids.
I looked at my fiance and said "idk how she's doing it but couldn't be me!!"
He said, " yeah! We're always so exhausted after work. I can't imagine having to leave work to go pick up kids so you can go to Walmart for groceries THEN go back home to cook!"
Having to take care of your siblings is a good indicator of whether or not you'll want kids....
I don't want kids. Not enough looooove in the world to make me want any. Nore will I even have a kid for any other reason except actually wanting a kid...
Used to work with this girl who was 22 with 4 kids.. like.... what the fuck??
I just keep being a lesbian. It is an incredible form of birth control.
I’m 47 and have no kids. Being a parent can look rewarding sometimes and just awful other times. I don’t regret not having any. I have a ridiculous amount of freedom from commitments and obligations. For me, it’s absolutely the right choice. I made quite a few mistakes in my life, but I did not bring any unwanted kids into this world.
I’m 42 and my wife is 39, first child coming soon. I can’t comprehend how people do this young.. I’m still terrified we are not ready. While simultaneously thinking I’m too old for this.. it’s bizarre.
My own kids are a surprisingly great form of birth control.
A place for great retorts. If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.