Pretty rich for a bloke named 'Agent of Chaos' to enforce rules.
and of course, he doesn't see the irony.
Parents: Why didn’t you tell me that ________?
Children: we not friends.
Imma try this one day
Seriously, my mother is exactly like this. Her 3 daughters have gone no-contact, my brother moved 1,300 miles away from her and my other brother shot himself. It never occurs to her that she might be the reason her children hate her fucking guts.
God, I'm so sorry. What does a mother have to do so damn wrong to inspire this kind of rejection? (A hypothetical only, please don't feel as though you need to answer)
I was just playing with my son and thinking that I pity my mother, because how she treated me drove me away. She cheated herself from seeing her son grow into a man and then fatherhood.
I havent seen my mother in person in at least 8 years. This is definitely the truth.
Haven't talked to my mom since 2017, there's so much less stress in my life
My mom told me that I was an escapist because I wanted to join the Navy
Apparently its because I don't want to work hard to get into the IITs
She's calling you an escapist when you choose not to aim at a school group with 1-2% acceptance ratio. But it is her thoughts that are literal fantasy.
Oh look, another person not fit to have kids but too stupid to not have kids.
Basically explains 50% of parents nowadays
As a parent of 3 I can tell you privacy is very important to me. Theirs and mine. I always knock and while I can access their phone and computer I do not do it. There is no reason too, they have a right to have their own space with out me always in their business.
Thank you. You have no idea how much children appreciate that. I'm fortunate to have parents that dont look into my histories or burst into my room. I tell them everything because I trust them
As a new parent I plan on letting my daughter have locks on her door. Don't plan on dinning through dressers and shit. I was always treated like I was doing something wrong and never felt I was trusted. I don't want my kid to feel that way
Hold on to that. Breaking the cycle is a burden to bare. Massive respect from a stranger :)
Some people really needed to learn that they didnt *have* to have kids.
Exactly. It’s your choice, so take responsibility for your own actions (if it was consensual, of course). Stop acting like you’re doing a favor for your children by having and raising them. They didn’t ask to be here. If you want to count like that, it might just be the other way around: you owe them for bringing them into such a horrible place.
My mother and I have only communicated by text for over ten years. Can confirm.
To this day, my relationship with my father is strained.
I had to earn love and was never accepted by his wife.
From the age of 5 I was not my fathers friend and his wife didnt want children so I barely felt like his daughter too.
I dont want to speak to their family (she popped out 2 kids when I was 10) she proceeded to spoil and emotionally destroy my younger siblings, broke my father (now medicated for depression) and caused a rift within the family.
She's lied to my siblings about my suicide attempts, blamed me for the sexual assaults I've experienced. Destroyed my confidence by openly commenting on my looks, and body from a very young age.
I pity my father for recognising our relationship isn't a strong one and wanting to work on it, not understanding that the damage has been done. The cuts are scars now.
I still struggle with mental health, however I now understand that they made mistakes and this weird gross relationship is a consequence.
Your kids didnt choose to be born, and they shouldnt have to earn love and support.
Maybe don’t have a kid if you don’t want them to grow into a person
Had a coworker that had parents like this. Wasn’t allowed to be near boys unless during class, strict curfew of 7pm straight through high school, forced to do bible camp and the second she became of age she moved out and partied as hard as she could to finally cut loose, became a prostitute for a few years at some shitty motel while working at a local movie theater during the day.
My mother got mad that -at 19 years old- I called her one evening to let her know I’d be staying at a friend’s apartment to play Borderlands 2 that night for the release.
She told me her house wasn’t an apartment to come and go as I please and to either start paying rent or move out.
I came back the next morning, grabbed my cat, sleeping bag, work clothes, and baby blanket (my most sentimental possession), and left.
She called later that day and asked why I wasn’t home. I told her that I moved out like she told me I had to. She backpedalled immediately.
It’s the kind of thing she did with my older brothers; even to this day. My surviving brother is now 33 and still bounces between living on his own, prison, and living with mom. My next brother did the same routine until he OD’d and died in his bedroom at her house last August. My younger sister is 26 and still hasn’t been able to move out.
But I’m not into “I didn’t mean it”, bipolar kind of relationships with anyone. It’s plain to see what that kind of psychology does to people. So I stayed gone.
Slept on a floor in my sleeping bag for 2 years til I could afford my first room in a rented house. Eventually met a girl and moved 2 states away and we live with her parents. We have an amazing relationship with her parents. It’s the kind of mutual respect I sorely lacked with my parents.
Sometimes I even feel like I’ve regressed in maturity a little bit because I’ve become content with my girlfriend’s parents sometimes acting like parents by buying groceries or cooking meals. Almost like I’ve wiped out my teen years and am trying to replace them with this current stretch of time which is infinitely better. Like I’m making up for lost time I should have had in my adolescence.
If it wasnt for girls with parents like this guy, I probably would have been a virgin into my early 20s. The more you try to stop a teenager from experiencing the world, the faster they want to experience them.
The parents who are overly concerned with their kids drinking/doing drugs when it wasnt a risk in the first place, are the ones with kids who are going to get into all sorts.
The parents who try to keep their kid from doing anything sexual, are the ones who's kids will end up being the most promiscuous and experimental.
They're literally putting the idea that these things are so great, that once their kids start they won't be able to stop into their heads. The more you try to keep kids from something this way, the more they'll want it.
I knew one girl who's brother that was 10 years older than her used to threaten all of his sisters male friends not to date her. He threatened to break my neck and legs more times than I could count. By the time she was 17 shed slept with multiple guys in their 40s.
Just let kids experience shit at their own pace and explain how to be safe, man. I don't get this psycho overbearing bullshit.
I’m actually pretty happy that I got to explore my budding sexuality as a minor/teen with other teens.
As opposed to having to trust a grown man to not use their experience and grooming me as a virgin.
Not that teenage sex was worth remembering, but at least it was pretty mutual and exploratory.
For me I figured since my mum didn’t trust me ever, I was already being punished, so might as well get my money’s worth.
I never did sleep with non long-term partners, but I was open to do any of the things my mum was prejudging me with.
I would have maybe tried drugs just to get back at her.
She didn’t allow me to get on birth control while I was in long term relationships and sexually active because it would just make me promiscuous. As opposed to practicing a lot of unprotected sex which my dumb ass did until I was able to get a prescription at 18!
And I was in those relationships because she wouldn’t let me attend youth disco with my classmates (because what if drugs!?), so I was isolated from developing relationships with my peers outside of school.
Boyfriends became the solution.
So she exchanged alcohol free disco with my classmates for me being sexually active and being away from home in less restrictive environments often with alcohol and drugs flowing...
At least two of my three teenage boyfriends were virgins.
You are spot on!
Yeah kids dont ask to be born. Either abort us or pay our way, simple.
I doubt they want the kids anyway.
"We not friends", but most parent child relationships that are strong involve them both being best of friends.
This guy is a loser, who thinks that by being exactly like his dad, he can give his kids everything he never had, by giving them exactly everything he had.
What a way to teach your child to respect themselves and their own autonomy.
I haven't spoken to my parents since all of their grandchildren moved away. It was the only reason I put up with their bullshit for so long. I can honestly say,I didn't keep them from them, only now they can't stand them and they are worse now that they are in their late 80's. Any white 80 something that voted for Trump and spews racist shit like them, do not need to be in anyone's orbit. Thankfully my kids aren't little assholes that hate on others.
Wild idea: there's a middle ground
There is no ground at all with some people
>Ain't shit negotiable. We not friends
I'm trying so hard to understand what the flying fuck that means.
I think he was saying “My decision on the subject is final, and I shall brook no argument nor response advocating otherwise. I am your legal guardian and your parent. Your displeasure in the way I am currently raising you does not change the fact that this is ultimately my decision. Don’t assume just because I care for you that I will be manipulated by my sentimentality or your emotions.”
Yup, this math checks out. If you did not abort, your authority is negotiable.
u already know this guy praises himself for being "real af" meanwhile everyone in his personal life probably cant stand him
He would use his two “friends” as evidence that you’re wrong and despite his small sample size it’s justified as “ain’t too many real ones out here, gotta keep my circle small” when really it’s because, like you said, he’s unbearable
Dad is the victim here. He’s been conditioned to believe that the wealthiest people should make the rules.
In a way he is correct to a degree.
Too many parents just want to be their child's friend, when what they are is their parent.
A parent is far far more than just being a friend, it's about providing the safe and loving environment that allows your child to reach their full potential, it's about ensuring wholesome values are not only taught but constantly modelled for your child, it's about mentoring and teaching, feeding and nurturing, it's about setting boundaries and enforcing these to keep your child safe and social, it's about sometimes being the object of your child's wrath and all the while loving them regardless of their behaviour towards you
So yeah, be your child's parent rather than just their friend, one of the jobs of a parent is to be a friend, but it's nowhere near the only one
My dad was controlling and invasive, I moved out shortly after becoming 18 and haven't spoken to him since. My mom and I used to argue, but ever since I learned to just drop it and move on when she says ignorant stuff, we've gotten along really well. I'm open with her and we have a good relationship. If you learn to communicate with and understand your kids, they will open up. My dad just pried his way in so I cut him off.
WRONG. if you don't teach your children how to make there own decisions they won't be able to live on there own. So they will never be able to pay there bills so you can keep forcing you wayz on them. Perfect system.
Stop writing comments please
It's not a binary choice, is nuance allowed?
I wonder how the guy in the image equated privacy with structure?
You can, and should, afford your child privacy and a set of reasonable structural rules to live by so they are ready for society's rules or you will end up with abusive despots who don't know the difference between privacy and structure.
Instructing someone that they’re not their on entity and aren’t welcome to live the same way because of some bullshit excuse you tell yourself because the shit you did as a kid and you can only imagine they’re doing “twice what you know” is heartbreaking you should pay attention to your kid, you’ll know exactly if they’re in trouble or just learning like every other person before in an afternoon.
You can make a baby but struggle to let it make choices will inevitably lead to greater issues with decisions and making choices out of reason not fear.
Twitter name should be "Agent of Tyranny"
I'm on year 11 or 12. My parents will die out of my life. I doubt they really care honestly, but part of me wishes they would regret the way they treated me.
Going through your kids phones/computer only works once, after that we learn to delete shit
As long as I live, I will never understand how anyone can fail to see that a human is a human, regardless of age, gender, creed, colour, etc. Just because they're your kid doesn't mean that they suddenly must share your thoughts, hopes, dreams and ideals. Parents need to remember that they have a responsibility to raise a kid with good moral and ethical judgement who *wants* to know them. Failure to do so is at least as much on them, and the consequences don't exactly take rocket science to figure out.
I like how some people choose to have kids and then think their kids somehow owe them.
Like it’s not bad enough you’re burdening them with life — but you’re burdening with life as you as their parent.
If you don't think of yourself as friends with your kids, you're parenting wrong. This is coming from someone who never wants kids but understands basic human empathy.
For me it was the inability to entertain any differing opinions or mindsets. The minute you tried pressing an issue with my mom she was yelling and a lecture about respect or values came quick after. Meanwhile they can't manage to keep a penny in a bank account no matter how much money my dad makes. She has to go spend it on another farm animal or side project right up until they foreclose on a home or file bankruptcy. She just texted my wife a few weeks back asking how things are going because I haven't called in a couple months. Wonder why.
I don’t want kids, but if for whatever reason I get them, I ain’t doing this nonsense. Resentment is a very real thing and some parents deserve it with how they treat their kids. I swear, so many parents are shocked that the kids they mistreated cut them off and won’t let them within the same zip code as their grandkids. I may be my kids’ superior, but I’m not a drill sergeant. I show them trust and respect, they’ll give it back. If they break it, we’ll deal with it. My kids won’t be servants. They’re members of the family with valid feelings and expectations. They’ll be treated as such.
There was a moment in my life when I realized that there are actually people who have parents like this, and it made me feel so lucky that even though they are not together anymore (and haven't been since I was three), my parents are sensible and try to let their children learn trust and love instead of paranoia and guilt.
There was a time in a friendgroup I was in I had the feeling of being the only one with "good" parents, it's crazy but of course, everyone has the "right" to be a parent, regardless if they should or not. (Of course there are regulations for mistreatment etc., but not for being an asshole and not trusting your children). Also, if you don't trust your children, doesn't that mean you essentially don't trust your parenting?
We can be friends just don't forget who the boss is until you turn 18 and can legally be responsible for you own decisions ...
‘We not friends’
Why do people talk like this? The guy can obviously write proper sentences. It’s not a major problem, but it never fails to annoy me.
- Because language isn't real, we made it up
- because there are hundreds of examples of grammatical rules we use to do that we removed over time because it's in Human nature to find ways to put our point across in shorter more direct forms
- because twitter only has 140 characters
- because creoles like African American vernacular English has different grammatical rules sets that are just as correct and valid as the English your were raised to speak and your ignorance to it does not make it Incorrect. In a similar way that I don't get to look down on you for taking the U out of colour cause i would be from England and you would be from America.
Because all of the above and then some?
^^Beep ^^boop, ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot. ^^- ^^[FAQ](https://pastebin.com/raw/vyWra3ns)
That guy probably owns a Humvee with a lifted chassis
This so Sad😔... isn't it
And yet, every time there’s a school shooting, it’s the parents fault for not being more invasive in the kids life. So which one is the right answer?
Have healthy boundaries, practice common sense gun control
I don’t think these are mutually exclusive?
I lost count, but I think I haven't spoken to my mother in about four years
Strict parents don’t have to be shitty ones too
They'll take their privacy by leaving your sorry ass. Kids are people too, and they need what everyone needs.
Imagine the opposite timeline. “Fuck those kids in adult bodies that had the audacity to force me into a world where they will rely on me in the end.”
Handle is "agent of chaos", acts lawful stupid...
If that's why she doesn't speak to her mother, her mother is lucky to not have to deal with that headache
Who's house are you going to live in for free and you get to tell them the rules? A job doesn't even give you privacy. If you are renting in Germany, if the landlord tells you he is coming over you can't say he can't come over. He can walk right into your shit
Tell the police you want some privacy. They will start following you
It be like that
Gotta be careful what logic you use on your kids. If I had kids that did something bad. I wouldn't get mad, I'd fix/resolve the problem and explain to them why they shouldn't do it. I was 6 I had no concept of "reason" yet they still ask me "why." Don't do that until you teach them how to explain themselves.
>We not friends
That's the problem you babbling fuck, you SHOULD be.
I didn't speak to my mother in years after a falling out, I think its been two years since she died. Only found out through my sister who found me and told me about it. She died alone in a room.
Agent, my home was just like that. MY KIDS HATED IT!!!
But, after 1-2 years in college each and every one of them came back and told us how great of parents we were. Make rules. Kids don't know how to become adults without guidance. Great job.
Shit teenagers say.
Shit ~~teenagers~~ *grown people who have successfully broken free of their abusers* say.
There, fixed that for you.
How would it even be possible for a teenager to be no contact with their parents for an entire decade? Unless their parents abandoned them at a young age, in which they have an *especially* valid reason for that separation, don't you think?
And I don't mean to be combative. I envy your position actually, that you *cannot imagine* cutting your parents out of your life. But know that not everyone is as fortunate as you. People don't cut contact with their parents because they're being immature, they do it to **survive,** and that makes them anything *but* immature.
I hope I was able to help you see the other side of the story today. If you have any questions about why people make these incredibly difficult decisions, I'm happy to answer them for you. Have a good day!
I know people whose parents treat them very well as kids, they still live at home 20 years later, the comeback is clever but life isn’t black and white, at least her mom showed her how to fend for herself even if unwittingly.
Her mom is happy to finally have peace and quiet again. 10 years without her loudmouth kid's bullshit... Allowance withholding well spent, I say!!
I'm sorry but what?
A place for great retorts. If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.