Posted by u/emalack002 14 hours ago
Men, would you be flattered if a bi girl told you that you are one of the few men she is attracted to?
I (F 17) started seeing this guy (M 19) and I am not sure how he would react to this information, thats why I am asking here first :)
EDIT: Holy shit, thank you for all your comments, I try to read every one of them. Ive decided rather not to tell him, the more I think about it, the more stupid it sounds. And for those of you saying to keep it simple and just tell him I am attracted to him, dont worry, I compliment him all the time!:)
EDIT: Holy shit, thank you for all your comments, I try to read every one of them. Ive decided rather not to tell him, the more I think about it, the more stupid it sounds. And for those of you saying to keep it simple and just tell him I am attracted to him, dont worry, I compliment him all the time!:)
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Generally saying "I'm attracted to you" is a nice compliment. But saying "Oh I generally like X but I'm attracted to you" is a bit different. You are telling them that your type is usually not them. That might make them more insecure about themselves, make them nervous or make them feel like they are less than your regular type in your eyes. It's usually better to just say "hey, I'm attracted to you" without adding "in spite of the fact I'm usually not attracted to your type". It's not necessary. If you are attracted to someone, go for them. Nothing more than that is needed.
The guy I'm seeing recently told me he usually prefers blondes. I'm currently a redhead and have never been blonde in my life š¤¦āāļø. And it's absolutely made me feel extra insecure especially since he's been distant since then. *Sigh* dating is hard. Op don't tell him you normally prefer women.
Iād be flattered if anyone said they were attracted to me :)
You and me both
I mean, probably, just calling them attractive will be easier and make the same point.
Yeah thatās something people sometimes donāt realise or forget if you add too much details in, that can muddy the initial message you were trying to get across. Like the guy might take it as something to do with his masculinity like him not having a lot if she adds what she wants to add but she is trying to say he is attractive and she really values him so just saying something like āI really find you attractive!ā Works fine and gets the message across well without having to take risks with your language that could upset them.
Just say you are attracted to him, problem solved
Yeah this is probably the correct answer. Just keep it simple.
Eh this gives me vibes of being the male equivalent of "you're not like the other girls", which to me is a bit of an immature sentiment and would honestly put me off a little. But then again, you guys are really young, so your mindset may be different from mine! Just do whatever feels right to you!
Yeah it just reads childish to me. But then again sheās literally 17 so she can cringe later in life
Ehh, not really. Itās not really flattering to be someoneās exception to whatever arbitrary rule they have. āIām not really attracted to x but youāre pretty cuteā... just a dumb thing to say imo. I may have a type of women that I know for sure that Iām attracted to, but I would never mention that to a woman who Iām attracted to but doesnāt fit that type.
Agreed, "I'm attracted to you" suffices, as opposed to "I'm usually attracted to X but now I am to you"
Imagine you have brown hair. Or freckles. Or something. And he or she says to you, *āI am normally not very attracted to women/men that have freckles! I usually go for people without freckles. You are one of the few freckles people I find attractive. ā* Itās not really that much of a compliment.
As a bi girl please donāt say this lol
As another bi girl, I'm consigning
What's the point? What is he supposed to do with that information? Just ask the guy out if you want to date him.
We went out several times, I just want to come out to him and I wanted to show him by this how much I fancy him but I wasnt sure whether it could potentially offend him or smth:)
Flattered? No. It wouldn't be a, "more special," compliment just because you're bi.
Happy cake day! Also big agree as a bi girl myself
Unpopular opinion, but no I wouldnāt. Iād be turned off by that statement because itās so unnecessary
Mmm I can see different perspectives on this one. My BF and I are both bi. I feel like if the roles were reversed and he told me that, Iād feel pretty intimidated personally. (Thatās my own insecurity) I think you should just say that youāre attracted to him, and that would be flattering enough.
I like how you mentioned being intimidated while realizing it may be an insecurity of your own. Very insightful.
Is it necessary to imply you aren't attracted to most men? You could simply just tell him you think he's attractive. If there roles were reversed and a bi girl told you that you were one of the few women she's ever been attracted to, how would you respond? I see some of the comments say it depends on the age group, but why take that chance anyway? You can't go wrong with simply telling someone they're good looking so I would stick with that.
Tell them you like them. Do not say anything related to how small the percentage of men you like is.... it puts your crush in a state of competition. To stay in the top of your exclusive list of boys you even like. I don't think that baggage is needed when you can just say that you like them. Liking them should be the important part... not the rarity of that.
Am I the only man in here that if I was dating a bi girl, and she told me I was one of the "few" men she was attracted to, that would get a bit concerned that she's really just a lesbian who occasionally dallies in men, and that our relationship would have an expiration date if she really does have such a strong preference for women?
As a girl I was thinking the exact same thing you were. If it was a man saying this to me I wouldnāt even continue the relationship. Her comment shows she prefers women over men. So... š¤
Just say youāre attracted to him. Donāt quantify it.
No. What am I supposed to do with that? Do cartwheels? I'd be like, "Ok. Nice weather we're having today". Am I supposed to feel extra special ot something. You're bi, lol Now if a lesbian told me that, well...
Well she wouldnāt be a lesbian
Wouldnāt make me feel any different than if you just said hey ur attractive or handsome. I would take it as a compliment if I liked the person. If u want to compliment him than just do it. You donāt need to add something else
not a guy, but like why would you say this? lol just seems very backhanded
i think it would be better to say āyouāre so attractiveā because when you say it like how you worded it it comes off as like ur using ur sexuality as a way to shame him a bit.
This seems like a bad compliment. However most men like any compliment they can get
One thing that's started really getting on my nerves is like, general women belittling. When women just start trash talking random dudes I don't know and then turn to me and they're like "Well not like you, you're a good one : )". Same thing with this recent "Himbo" thing. A guy at work called me a himbo because he was like crushing hard on me and I pretty much told him off. I'm pretty active in the queer community and it's sometimes really aggravating to hear these things but I'm probably in the minority on that.
I'd be happy if a girl told me I tied my shoes nicely.
Nah not āflatteredā, Iāve dated girls that had been in relationships with girls for 7 years before i met them. It was great. They find you attractive, it should be as simple as that. If you find her attractive, go for it!
No, of course not! Seriously, what kind of question is this?
I would find it weird and immature to say something like that, and attention seeking tbh.
Just say heās attractive the current wording seems to diss most if not all men (unsure if thatās the intention)
Personally, I don't think that's the intention. She's saying she has a strong preference for women, which is her own taste and in no way implied men are less because of it.
If you were a full on lesbo and told me you are attracted to me, I'd think I am giving off a particularly feminine vibe. But bi is ok
Lmao I could have guessed your age just by this question, with all due respect. GOD no...a) youāre basically saying āyeah, for a guy youāre alrightā and b) if youāre actually bi, then why do you have to say that? Just be attracted to who youāre attracted to... Just painfully unnecessary...
Maybe instead of stating that theyāre one of the few men youāve been attracted to just tell them youāre attracted to them in general. Relationships arenāt a competition, no need to make them feel like they are part of the lesser. In general soft compliments go a long way to most males as we donāt get them often
I think the sentiment is flattering but maybe if it was worded differently, I know if my boyfriend told me that Iād be so worried some day heād suddenly realise I wasnāt that much better after all. However I know what youāre trying to get across! Maybe if you told him you havenāt felt like this for a boy before, so there is emphasis on the boy bit, but it isnāt as comparing? Iām also trying to think of when I said similar to my boyfriend at 18 who was super insecure and immature about it. But now I understand why he was like wtf haha
I feel like you might be playing with fire with the extreme prevelance of peoples biphobia and thinking that you are going to leave them for the other gender. I probably wouldn't, but also if he responds poorly right away you're better off without him. But it might cause some back of the mind questions for him. Just my thoughts as another bi lady, good luck!
If she's an attractive woman and it's for reasons beyond the surface, then yes. Dont get me wrong, I'd still be flattered if she liked me for my looks, but it'd feel more meaningful to know i attracted her with more than my looks.
I would be more than flattered, that'd lift my spirits up for the next year or so, compliments mean a lot more than people think
Are you trying to flatter him or date him? Might want to have a plan in case he reciprocates and thinks youāre interested in dating after you tell him youāre attracted to him (which is different than saying heās attractive FYI).
That'd be kinda weird, tbh
Bad idea. If he's insecure he'd be afraid that you like women more than men.
I've heard this twice, and while it was great to hear at the time, it really made a lot of sense when they both cheated on me with other women. So maybe I'm just a bit leery of this statement lol
Very, but at the same time also think they're crazy cause I've seen potatoes look better than me.
No drop the qualifier and just tell him he is attractive and you will be fine.
As another bi girl who entered my relationship with a straight guy when I was just a little younger than you, why? All you should do is disclose your sexuality if you so please but the āone of the few men she is attracted toā bit is just asking for him to feel insecure and be put off. Telling him youāre bisexual is perfectly fine but the way you want to say it isnāt. Just tell him heās attractive, which most people would be flattered to hear
No, you should just say something about what you find attractive about them.
ummā¦ kinda but not really?
We're on Reddit, dear. Most of us would be ecstatic if you were just genuinely happy to be around us. The rest is completely arbitrary, unnecessary, and just immature enough to mildly disgust me.
I mean...I guess. Really wouldn't care about the bi part, or being "One of few men". That doesn't really matter to me. I may be alone in that.
Not a guy but I know I would appreciate anyone liking me
Id be flattered if any girl considered me attractive
Not really tbh. I couldnāt care that they were bi. Iād care about them as a person
Depends what she looks like š
Let's just say I'd be flattered if any girl said that to me. I'd also ask them if their vision is impaired, but I'd still be flattered.
Only if she was attractive
iād be flattered if any girl irrespective of her sexuality told me that she is attracted to me
My husband found it extremely flattering.
I don't know her game but yeah.
Yesss.
Yep
Yeah... but then Iād be flattered if any girl told me they were attracted to me.
Ive been down that road and it didnt end well. We dated eachother for 5 years and then she decided to be with women.
Yes
It depends on how heavily you lean towards women. If you find both genders equally attractive then no. Theres nothing special about you find me attractive. But if you lean more towards women then yeah I'd be flattered by it. Something about me drew you towards me. But for the most part keep it to yourself. Just in case he feels differently. No one here can speak for him or anyone.
Yes I would be
As a straight guy Im flattered when anyone tells me Iām attractive.
Most definitely
Yes I would
Absolutely
I went out with a bi girl and she said that I was the first guy she had dated in ages and I was flattered
Iām at a point in my life where Iād be flattered if anyone says Iām attractive or handsome. Doesnāt happen very often but when it does it sometimes makes my whole week better. So to answer your question yes I would be flattered if a bi girl told me I was attractive
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Yes.
I think generally anyone is happy to hear they are attractive to someone especially men as I donāt think they are told that as much compared to how much women are.
I am a below average guy who hasnāt had anyone be attracted to him in his life. It would make my entire day.
I mean, this kinda feels like when women have told me I'm handsome, and they're not usually attracted to black men. Or when work acquaintances tell me I'm really well-spoken? It feels very backhanded, and more than slightly uncomfortable.
I mean, I've gotten that comment, and in a weird way I find it kind of confusing. Like I'm on thin ice or something because I'm not a woman. But my anxiety is a mess so I'm probably a fringe case.
As a 30yo lesbian, your sexuality and preferences should not serve as flattery for anyone, regardless of the gender. Period.
Attraction is a funny thing we have no control over! Honestly, I find that comparisons can often create misinterpretations of what you are trying to get across and if you keep it simple to saying you find him attractive is already flattering enough for any individual.
From one bi girl to another, itās definitely a bit weird; like if I was on the receiving end I would have a few mixed feelings personally- not bad, moreover conflicted. Instead, just tell him how much you like him and why :)
I was dating a bi girl and she mentioned she was usually attracted to buff men...I'm a tiny gal and did not take it as a compliment to be honest. It kind of intensified some insecurities. Keeping it short with "Hey you're attractive" is much better.
It's a weird thing to say to someone. Doesn't have to be about the label you put on yourself but just the love and the feels.āŗļø
Compliments is compliments. š
Iām sorry but if any girl told me I was attractive in the slightest Iād be flattered lmfao
I was flattered when a gay friend in our friend group told me he was attracted to me. And I still wanted to be friends with him. But I am as straight as they come. One night we were leaving a bar together and stood at a crosswalk. I was going to cross to go my way and he would continue on the sidewalk to go his way. We stood on the corner and chatted for about three cycles of the light when I realized he was inviting me up to his apartment. We talked through my green light when it hit me where he thought this was going, the light turned yellow, and I bolted across the intersection. Felt a little bad but what I did kinda made sense, when drunk in the city. About a year later he died of an aneurysm lying on his couch at age 25. Too bad, he was a good soul. Life is fickle and crazy.
I think this is something you should say maybe a year down the road when youāre more comfortable in joking and all
You do know that not all men are alike, right? It absolutely does not matter if 100% of the men answer you and say that they wouldn't mind. There is still a chance that your guy might. It doesn't matter if 100% of the men answer you and say they would mind and would be disgusted. There is still a chance that your guy might not mind at all. The only way you will ever find out is to use your words and ask him.
Telling him that you're bi is something that should happen on the first date.
I would probably blush.
**probably blush, i would.**
*-KDN1692*
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Of course
Lol yeah! Of course. When something strokes a guy's ego, it always flatters us.
Yes.
Definitely, I would be flattered. That means that I would stand out from most men that she knows it have interacted with. So I look at this as a positive.
Hi Male that is four months into a relationship with a bi girl. First off yes the guy would be flattered I mean who wouldnāt be? I certainly am. I still donāt know why she likes me so much. Secondly, some guys have a fragile enough ego where they would be concerned they couldnāt do well enough in several areas (not just sex) because they have to compete with girls and guys. This could be a yellow flag if it happens. Good luck!
Of course. Itās always good to here that people like me, when it seems that so many try to put me down.
My best friend is bi and she told me the other day (after I ranted about my insecurities) that my face was my most attractive feature. I feel like your sexuality shouldn't play a big role in the compliment personally, but rather the thought that counts. I would be equally flattered if she had said what you said as well.
Yes, because that means a girl is attracted to me
In a weird twist of fate both of the women I dated were bi, I am bi, and both said something like that, so I can confirm itās pretty nice to hear when everyoneās in on it haha
Yeah
I'd be flattered if anything told me that they were attracted to me
I'd be flattered but realize since she's bi I'd have more competition.
no
Regardless of a person's sexuality, I'd be flattered.