Fine, when I hear god say yes I will listen to him; thing is I have never heard any deity say anything ever.
On the other hand there's a bunch of fellas who claim to speak on their name who cannot but spew shit again and again and again
I will comply with that as long as god is the one directly telling me what to do.
Hello soukaixiii, it's me god; Do whatever the fuck you want.
Sure but which one. I'll follow and trust the MFSM.
The one true god of course / s.
Then they take it too far and 9/11 happens
So much for free will?
You get free will, but if you don't follow everything i say, ill torture you for the rest of eternity ; )
Sounds great! My God tells me to do what I'm already doing anyway, and he thinks you should too.
They won't say no... Because of the implication
It legit is one of the commandments and people still don’t follow it. You can’t force me to do anything.
I mean god said love everyone and the evangelicals can’t even do that basic thing so they don’t even follow his law
Hey, yeah, just talked to God in the other room, you couldn't hear him. He said you have to give me all your money
Great! I’ve been trying to reach god my whole life and he’s never responded. If anyone could send him a message to call me, I’d appreciate it. For some reason, he ignores everything I ask for...
I prefer the rule these freaks are supposed to be following:
"treat others as you would have them treat you".
That one rule would solve 40% of the world's social problems. (to include war)
God says don't be racist.
*Sorry God, you're cutting out... just... look call back later.*
So??? Umm... serious question here? Whose god? And who is the mouthpiece? If it’s me then fuck yes! It’s like thelema but more fun!
"when god says yes nobody can say no"
But this is already the case in their cinematic universe. No chance to say no. God got some young girl pregnant against her wishes.
We all know what kind of person this god guy is.
Again we see a version of the Christian God who is impotent unless people make laws that enable him/her to be omnipotent.
Also that's three rules
all holy books could be condensed into four words.....don't be a cunt.
Under the condition that it has to be from him directly. No interpreting, and no speaking for him. He has to say it aloud for every interested party to hear.
Can I follow old testament God? He was murdery
So that's three rules..?
That is fine. I am quite good and saying "yes" and proceeding to do the complete opposite of what was asked afterwards.
Well, their god never told me to do anything so I’m already doing it rn
"I am intending to rape people and I use God as an excuse."
Every time I see one of these posts I kerp thinking - "Which one?"
Bacchus, Aphrodite, Mercury, Apollo, Athena, Yawah, Thor, Odin, Lorkhan, the FSM?
Pfff, they can't even count to one. Pick one: follow, trust or listen to God.
What manner of godly communication is valid?
Can I interpret bird droppings to commune with god?
But god is always saying no
God said to skin you alive'
Yes M'Lord! ^wait...
Lol God is gonna have to start getting a lot more vocal
God says do something and you can’t say no! That didn’t work out too well in the Catholic faith!
I wonder what would happen if a murderer killed a christian's kid and then claimed god told him to do it. Would the christian believe it? Probably not, he would say that the murderer is delusional. But how can he determine if the killer really heard the voice of god? After all, in the bible plenty of people killed on god's command and the christian will usually think that god was justified in doing so.
If you can believe that god somehow told you in what stock to invest or what job you should pick, why wouldn't you believe god could command someone to murder?
Blessed be the fruit.
Can't say no when god is saying yes...? Sounds like something a rapist would say.
Didn’t God give people the freedom of choice so they can choose to believe in him or not? If everyone just automatically followed him there would be no reason him him even continuing humanity. (According to my youth minister as a kid)
Well you know what they say. Rules are meant to be broken.
* Jesus has left the chat *
Monkey's Paw: \*Implements this exactly as stated without needing any creative interpretation that makes it ironic and terrible\*
I'm sorry my good sir, but that's 3 rules.
Be excellent to each other.
no hate speech
So… no free will? The thing that was supposed to put us above all of gods other creations?
Doesn’t this just undo the entire precept of Christianity that man had “free will”?
Guess it’s good that he doesn’t ever talk to us.
Look at me stronger than a god
That’s 4 rules
God just told me you owe me $100 and don’t you dare say no
god: ayo moses write the bible
god: but i’m god
moses: ah shit
This subreddit is focused on the crazy, dumb, sh*tty, dishonest, & absurd things people say or do because of/in the name of religion. Please read the posting rules before submitting anything. There are user flairs available.