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92551

Cake day

02 Oct 2011
2
Posted by u/VSK-1 14 hours
Must have been the height of his day, I imagine him retelling that story at the pub that night.
2.5k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/aloofloofah 1 day
Squatty botty.
255 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/amajunkie8 6 days
It's a somewhat decent way to block a mediocre punch.
36 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/theSEGAnerd2006 1 week
Good bot
279 Comments Share Save
5
Posted by u/theSEGAnerd2006 1 week
This is the second dope ass song sample i saw of this game on reddit. Making me wanna try the game out tbh.
279 Comments Share Save
5
Posted by u/theSEGAnerd2006 1 week
When I saw the clown ans flashing "ERROR" message, my entire NG life flashed before my eyes.
279 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
We believe so, but someone (from reddit) said that in her breed Yellow variations exist but are very rare, so I guess we'll find out in a bit. Or when i meet my friend over the weekend :)
5 Comments Share Save
10
Posted by u/theSEGAnerd2006 1 week
Is that the Madness clown?
279 Comments Share Save
13
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
Momma's Ivy, The shiny one we're calling Eminem, And there's one with white bits called Oreo. We can't tell the others apart, so no names yet
5 Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
Aww, Disappointed at the dead sub.
69 Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
WITNESS ME BLOODBAG!
69 Comments Share Save
14
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
1 in 6 for my friend, I suppose.
69 Comments Share Save
39
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
Yes, and you had to hold B the whole time she was in labor.
69 Comments Share Save
5
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
The 𝓰𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓾𝓼 duckling! Or...Cinderella?
69 Comments Share Save
17
Posted by u/SpcK 1 week
Maybe, She has very long luscious hair :D
69 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/Altruistic_Hope831 1 week
I'd think this was staged, but god damn, that ankle roll...
404 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/swat_08 3 weeks
Amazing work, fantastic progress. However I have two small things to point out. 1- I hope you picked a good trainer to set a program for you because high impact exercises like Jumping rope while overweight can be really harmful to the joints. 2- Some of the exercises I saw were questionable to me, for example that side bending exercise for the obliques doesn't really target them, as the obliques go across the abs (almost) horizontally, and not vertically, so you want to exercise them in a twisting motion, exercises such as the Russian twist or Shrimping. And I have never seen that arm lowering exercise before, I imagine it's for a back muscle like the Lats or Teres Major? In which case that is really not targetting any of them at all, so please let me know what that exercise targets, I might learn something new. And lastly, for those looking to make similar changes to your life and physique, she not only made amazing effort at the gym, but most of her effort was done in the kitchen, most of the weight lost at that level is done through consuming fewer calories than you spend, and you really don't burn that many calories through exercise. I, for example, spent an hour on the treadmill at low medium speed and burned the equivalent of a large fries. If youve made it this far through my pointless rambling, thank you, and I wish you successful and sustained improvement.
243 Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/regian24 3 weeks
When I got cauliflower ear at training, my coach said "Congratulations, no one's gonna fuck with you at bars anymore."
1.2k Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/Dropped_Fetus 3 weeks
Is one of the things he says "SELL YOUR BABIES, AT THE CIRCUS OF VALUE!" ?
57 Comments Share Save
-3
Posted by u/Guillaumee 1 month
> Tried to go back into the womb. > "I spent casual afternoons trying to jam my head into my mother's..." *spreads legs and dangles phone over toilet > "Belly button" *Closes legs and continues to poop.
395 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/Lolshoots 1 month
I am a 3D artist and Game dev with zero web design experience, any way I can help?
81 Comments Share Save
-1
Posted by u/Wsda10 1 month
Steve Carrell, yes.
793 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/dipnnndot 1 month
Is nobody gonna discuss how she thinks it may be **her** baby?
1.3k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/verystupidchicken 1 month
hmmm...I should cyberbully someone.
1.9k Comments Share Save
6
Posted by u/OnlyMonitor5 1 month
A non-Cyberpunk version of this.
69 Comments Share Save
67
Posted by u/OnlyMonitor5 1 month
Cyberpunk Cerebella from Skullgirls!
69 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/Mister_Turk 1 month
You should get that checked out. See, my nipples emit a high pitch hum like a ninroot the closer I get to a vagina or fried chicken.
454 Comments Share Save
4
Posted by u/WilliWalli 1 month
I wonder why the fuck it keeps "Recording has started" in the recording
104 Comments Share Save
4
Posted by u/legally_blondie 1 month
Reply "lmao, what bf"
43 Comments Share Save
42
Posted by u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U 1 month
seemed to me like he was Yolking.
2.2k Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/realsmalleybiggs 1 month
Sweet chariot.
157 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/LostSoulInCurlyFries 1 month
Do you have to hunt for and carve your own horns, monsieur?
2.1k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Max_Speed_Remioli 2 months
"Waddle around at the speed of sound!"
972 Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/Phasmm 2 months
I wonder whereabouts in China they make handsome snacks like overalls guy.
95 Comments Share Save
27
Posted by u/Phasmm 2 months
I love how unfazed jacket guy was by the assembly of the assault rifle and just kept hucking corn cobs at overalls guy.
95 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/beluuuuuuga 2 months
Googling the band "Kiara" turned up a porn actress of the same name. I had to type "Kiara band"
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1
Posted by u/Auxxit 2 months
Sir, do you want the extra fries or not? You're holding up the line.
1k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/gamingalot 2 months
She's the neighbor from "Neighbors from hell"
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1
Posted by u/matildaaaa 2 months
"do you have kids?" "Yes, two girls" "Awesome, conglaturations, did you get them to get their ears pierced when they were born?" "Absolutely not, it would be unrespectful to their bodies and the gift of god's image that was given to them" "...oh"
441 Comments Share Save
10
Posted by u/Jaeger_Constantin 2 months
This is the only reason I can think of, what's the intended reason he's jingling?
145 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Jonkooo 3 months
Do I just not understand this sub anymore?
405 Comments Share Save
17
Posted by u/Tajul92 3 months
To ~~protect~~ punish and to ~~serve~~ punish
853 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/SpcK 3 months
Looking forward to not getting as sore, but I'm having a great time!
12 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/SpcK 3 months
Oh no, what is that? **WHAT IS THAT?**
12 Comments Share Save
32
Posted by u/sadbutambitious 3 months
My hearing is fine. I like subtitles because I miss stuff. Except for comedies because I read ahead and spoil the jokes for myself.
2.9k Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/SpcK 3 months
I stretch but not enough post stretches. Also if I'm being serious and not a meme boy for a second: 1- I enjoy that pain a great deal, it's nothing serious, it's all just the natural soreness I would get from a normal day of lifting, but all at once. No serious joint pain or bone pain, and I came prepared for mat burns so in 5 classes so far, I only got one mat burn. 2- I would take all these ANY DAY over the pains I got from Kickboxing, those weren't fun. This is **fun**.
12 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/SpcK 3 months
At this rate i'll need full body pads, like the one they use to train dogs.
12 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/SpcK 3 months
My first month is 50% off, I look forward to that expiring...
12 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Numerous-Lemon 3 months
Please flair this "Easter Egg-man"
398 Comments Share Save
15
Posted by u/[deleted] 3 months
The failed irish song is my favorite moment of all seasons ever.
443 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/GQveracity 3 months
> Ohio mayor calls for 'immediate termination' of officer who shot and killed an **innocent** Black man ~~'who had committed no crime'~~ This is how you report a murder, CNN.
4.8k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Kukulkan_350 3 months
Green man shoots clumpy aliens with extreme prejudice.
167 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/sammysamgirl 3 months
I'm gonna go ahead and paste in a smaller serving size in case you don't want to feed a small village. This the smallest I can get is 2 slices, because 1 slice requires half an egg. **Ingredients** **Cheesecake** * 1 bricks of cream cheese room temperature 48oz * 0.17 container of full fat sour cream 8oz * 0.17 tablespoon vanilla extract * 0.83 eggs room temperature * 0.33 cups powdered monkfruit/erythritol sweetener 350g **Crust** * 0.25 cups almond flour 168g * 0.04 cup powdered monkfruit/erythritol sweetener 50g * 0.17 tsp cinnamon * pinch of salt * 1 tablespoons melted butter **Strawberry Sauce (Optional)** - Makes enough for the full-size cheesecake so half this recipe if making half the cheesecake filling * 5.33 oz fresh strawberries sliced * 0.04 cup water * 0.17 cup powdered monkfruit/erythritol sweetener * 0.08 tsp xanthan gum optional, helps thicken the sauce more Instructions * In a bowl, mix together your almond flour, cinnamon and salt. * Add your butter and mix to form a soft dough. * Press this dough into the bottom up a 10-inch springform pan evenly, bringing some of it slightly up the sides of the pan. * Place the crust in the fridge for 20min to set. * Meanwhile, pre-heat your oven to 325*F. * In a large mixing bowl or kitchen aid mixer, add your cream cheese, sour cream and vanilla extract. * Use the paddle attachment (whisk will not work on the Kitchenaid mixer with this much cream cheese) and whip slowly and then turn up the speed and continue mixing until everything is well-incorporated and the mixture begins to become a bit lighter and fluffy. (Alternatively you can use a hand mixer) * Next add your sweetener and use a spatula to partially stir it in before turning on your mixer to prevent the sweetener flying everywhere. Whip until incorporated. * Finally add your eggs and whip slowly to start then increase the speed until fully incorporated. * Carefully pour the cheesecake mixture into your crust and bake for ~1 hour then turn off the heat and let the cheesecake sit in the oven with the door open for another 30min. *Note this is how long Jennifer's took but my oven bakes slower and for the full cheesecake using 6 bricks of cream cheese, it took me about 1 1/2 hours of baking and 30min of cooling with the door open for it to be fully cooked. We then let it rest on the counter for another hour before refrigerating overnight. For The Strawberry Sauce * Place all of your sliced strawberries in a large pot over low-medium heat along with the 1/4 cup water and 1 cup powdered monkfruit/erythritol sweetener. Cook the strawberries, stirring often. * If using, sprinkle in xanthan gum when the strawberries are partially cooked down. * Keep cooking down strawberries until the sauce has reached your desired consistency (I usually like some strawberries to still be whole but softened along with the sauce, mine takes about 6-10min total). * Pour into a bowl and chill to thicken the sauce further. You can then put the sauce directly on the cheesecake or reserve it on the side (we usually do half on the cake and leave half on the side if anyone wants extra sauce). Notes Feel free to half the cheesecake portion of this recipe as it is quite large and a LOT of filling to work with if you do not have a stand mixer, the crust can remain the same. Nutrition Serving: 1slice | Calories: 595kcal | Carbohydrates: 7.7g | Protein: 13.2g | Fat: 57g | Fiber: 1.5g
89 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/WhenMachinesCry 3 months
Hollow bones? hollow bones.
1.4k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/AutoModerator 4 months
Hooray! Good bot!
1 Comments Share Save
25
Posted by u/MOTTS_APPLES 4 months
I would pay good money to see a feature length sting operation where he plants like 10 decoys at a hollywood party and then just walks in and we see an entire LotR list of cast and crew shit their pants as he walks in the big doors, sits in the middle of the hall and says "Why don't you gather around, everyone" He'd be cashing royalty cheques for generations.
4 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Brrr_ItsTrue 4 months
A fun thing to do is calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories your body burns by existing) in an online BMR calculator. Estimate your fat percentage using charts online, multiply that by your weight to get how much fat you got. Multiply that by 7,700 to see how many calories you're storing and divide that by your BMR. It would give you a rough estimate on how many days it would take you to starve to death if you injest nothing but water, and vitamin and mineral pills. The formula would be (Metric): ((BF% . W) . 7,700)/BMR where BF% is your body fat percentage. W is your weight in Kilos BMR is your daily caloric expendature. So for example if I start now: ((15% . 80) . 7700)/3000 (heavily approximated) I would die around mid to late Jan.
1.7k Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/jerrykola8205 4 months
Okay, some people do deserve dogs.
936 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Lost-Warning-2588 4 months
In highschool two boys were caught fucking in a bathroom stall. "Officially" nothing happened to them, but we never saw them again.
28.3k Comments Share Save
9
Posted by u/Benjamin-Cat 4 months
I hate this. But at least Rich Evans is anatomically accurate.
42 Comments Share Save
9
Posted by u/Benjamin-Cat 4 months
Because it's nnnnnnnnneewt a girl.
42 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/mrsjhev1 4 months
If you hit the gym and train your glutes, you can be known as "Hard Ass"
3.1k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/arrgh9 4 months
When they kiss, they can't make eye contact.
854 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/SpcK 4 months
Then make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. Share with friends, family, and coworkers.
7 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/ghosteagle 4 months
Usually the protagonists have morals, so no.
662 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/Boilermaker1983 4 months
So, any romcom.
823 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/ghosteagle 4 months
He looks like an enemy character from a 90's Doom clone.
662 Comments Share Save
8
Posted by u/Evodius 4 months
Send your uncle my Fiverr username, Ill do it for him for 45.
327 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/[deleted] 4 months
Quite a bit of Japanese games have a "Previously on" between segments because they heavily encourage taking breaks. Resident Evil revelations comes to mind.
294 Comments Share Save
57
Posted by u/orchid_breeder 4 months
Little known fact, Spanish flu procrastinated killing people all year and then around christmas went "Oh shit oh fuck" and then started cramming fatalities to get the quota. Then proceeded to learn nothing from that experience.
339 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/acetonegoulash 4 months
Her shortened pet name is "Allah"
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2
Posted by u/mitchollow 4 months
I imagined her replying to the professor like the Mike Wazowski singing meme.
767 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/History0470 4 months
His cousin asked him to get married, but his wife doesnt know.
846 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/PeJae 4 months
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
5.2k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/RoyaleMe 4 months
Why is the first kid's enunciation so satisfying?
199 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/[deleted] 4 months
You look like ProZD without the voice.
1.9k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/21sanhe 4 months
"And we have definitively proven that you can beat skyrim with a bucket on your head and a fork up your ass, My name is Paul of Mitten Squad, have a wonderful day"
25k Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/MrSputum 4 months
If you can get a tent with a hole in it, you can film him on the beach.
512 Comments Share Save
33
Posted by u/History0470 4 months
Oh, I see you've met my multiplayer teammates.
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30
Posted by u/History0470 4 months
And we used to get internet over the phone, not ON your phone, she'd never guess that.
411 Comments Share Save
6
Posted by u/Rhesusmonkeydave 4 months
And then they demand a public-er card check, and turns out the loser owes even **more** money.
1k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/sherlock_er 4 months
Chicken watching this are probably going "EW! he's playing with my period!"
151 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/aint-no-user 4 months
Why does he talk like he doesn't have any teeth?
1.3k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/DatLilFatKid 4 months
They could have easily said "On the devil let's stomp, On **sin** let's stomp" And still made sense with a better rhyme. It's like they're trying to make it horrible.
542 Comments Share Save
2
Posted by u/[deleted] 4 months
It's all the steroids fly farms put in their feed to get more meat.
408 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/throwawayforlemoi 4 months
Power bottom is almost never (afaik) used as being super enthusiastic about bottoming, it instead means one is dominant, in charge and in control, but just happens to be, in the physical sense, the receiver. You can also tell that's how the guy in the screenshot is using it, regardless of whether or not he's saying he's a power bottom **because** he's manly, or he's a power bottom sometimes and manly some other times, One should never dive into the nuances of idiots/trolls. sources: 1- Urban dictionary defines power bottoms as: > Similar to a bottom, but a specific variety. A power bottom tends to be in charge, and feels most powerful when bottoming; the one who bottoms is the one on the "throne" so to speak, "taking" the Top. 2- In several episodes of It's always sunny in Philadelphia they talk about this exact thing in the same exact context, identifying a power bottom as someone who generates/is in power from the bottom, going so far as to (iirc) hypothetically identifying as a power bottom because it's masculine, and not as degrading. 3- I have first hand experiences with several people with this exact mindset.
1.9k Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/depressed_anemic 4 months
I do have a detachable shower head, I love a good shower head, but I need both hands!
459 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/throwawayforlemoi 4 months
Usually in more conservative regions, or conservative minded people who place a lot of value on "manliness" see it as "shameful" to be a bottom, so they would identify as a Vers. or a Vers. Bottom, or in some, less common, cases a Power bottom. They just think it's stronger, or manlier to be the one who fucks. Which is funny to think of their logic like "I'm a big strong manly man please fuck me in the ass" and also really sad that they're still so strongly governed by a societal norm that has completely not only abandoned them, but has degraded and humiliated them for what they enjoy.
1.9k Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/throwawayforlemoi 4 months
The only reason he identifies as **Power** bottom is because he deems being a bottom as gay. Extremely common, unfortunately.
1.9k Comments Share Save
70
Posted by u/depressed_anemic 4 months
Eurotrash here, My hair is 3B - 3C, all my products are marketed towards black people in the US. It's the only place where I was ever asked why I intentionally curled my hair. BECAUSE I LIKE STANDING IN THE SHOWER, BENT OVER, HEAD UPSIDE DOWN, WATER RUNNING INTO MY NOSE FOR AN HOUR OF UNTANGLING MY SHIT WHILE APPLYING PRODUCTS THAT COSTA KIDNEY! MIND YA BIDNESS, KAREN!
459 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/expLorerB10 4 months
Why are you posting a picture of an empty tray?
263 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/HeyYouShouldSmile 5 months
Yeah baby, ride that phallus.
2k Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/revilo636 5 months
What sims mod is this?
44 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/kaiser_wonthelm 5 months
If he gets chased by an eagle and runs to the safety of the cage, all those birds are dead.
143 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/notsure500 5 months
Literally admitting they supported a non/Unfit leader for 4 years.
1.1k Comments Share Save
37
Posted by u/KeanuReevesYeeted 5 months
What doesn't.
1.1k Comments Share Save
7
Posted by u/Dragmire927 5 months
I guess laughing at elderly people's brittle bones and choosing Vampire Assassin really cement you as Chaotic Evil.
180 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/ImJacksAwkwardBoner 5 months
It's 2020, we call that Meditation now.
292 Comments Share Save
3
Posted by u/TheBaconGrill 5 months
I despise every single one of these.
207 Comments Share Save
1
Posted by u/Xpucu 5 months
Never skip straight day!
352 Comments Share Save